The internet has a number of examples of suggested replacements for standard Microsoft Error messages written as Haikus (some by the chairman of Sony some years ago):
| Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone. | Yer file wis muckle. Mebbe handy an aa, like. But it’s awa noo. | Your file was quite large. Maybe useful too, you know. But it’s away now. |
| The web site you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist. | The page ye’re aifter Is naewye ti be seen, but There’s mair gyaan aboot. | The page you’re after Is nowhere to be seen, but There’s more in circulation. |
| Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent and reboot. Order shall return. | It’s aa a richt rummle. Hae a thinkie, then rebeet. It’ll aa come richt. | It’s all a real mess. Have a think, and then reboot. It will all come right. |
| Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much. | Saftware’s faan ower. It’s lowsin time fir aathin. Ye’re ower gutsy. | Software’s stopped working. It’s time to stop everything. You are too greedy. |
| Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. | Windaes NT’s deid. It’s awa til the knackery. Ye’re oan yer ain noo. | Windows NT’s dead. It’s gone to the slaughterhouse. You’re on your own now. |
| Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. | Yestreen it wid ging. The day we’re richt oot o luck. Windaes aye dis aat. | Yesterday it went. Today we’re right out of luck. Windows aye does that. |
| First snow, then silence. This thousand-dollar screen dies So beautifully. | A pucklie snaa, syne The hale screen’s aa gaed awa. It wis bonnie, myne. | A little snow, then The entire screen went away. ‘Twas attractive, though. |
| Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped. | It’s naewye in sicht. Yon bumf ye chappit in eence Needs chappit eence mair. | It’s nowhere in sight. That document you keyed once Needs keyed in once more. |
| Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. | Hing on a mintie. Aathing’s gaed heelstergowdie. It’s a richt scunner. | Hang on a minute. Everything’s gone upside down. It’s a real nuisance. |
| With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: Error ‘File not found’. | Neen seen fan ye seek. Jist nithin ava ti spy. Error ‘Bumf nae wye’. | None seen when you seek. Just nothing at all to see. Error ‘Data gone’. |
| Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. | Haud yer haun the noo. There’s nae pynt chaan yer heid aff. Aathin’s jist knackered. | Hold your hand just now. No point chewing your head off. Everything’s had it. |
| A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone. | Aa yon sillar, an Yer fantoosh kist o furlies Hing’s jist lik a steen. | All that money, and That fancy PC of yours Hangs just like a stone. |
| Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred. | Ye’re nivver sure bit Ye’ll dee, pey tax an lose bumf. Fit een is’t ivnoo? | You’re never sure but You’ll die, pay tax and lose files. Which one is it now? |
| You step in the stream, But the water has moved on. This page is not here. | Ye dip yer tae in. Losh, min – but it’s nae een weet. ‘Error fower oh fower’. | You dip your toe in. Look – it isn’t even wet. ‘Error 404’. |
| Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. | Myne oot. Oot o myne. Git a haud o aathin blae? Nae chunce o aat, min. | Watch out. Forgotten. Get a hold of all things blue? No chance of that, man. |